


Shadows of your past and mine

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Fluff and Angst, Historical, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 19:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3181097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had wanted to stay but he knew that he couldn’t, not then, because Sho was with him. And no matter how hard it was to leave, he had to because he couldn’t just let Sho leap back home by himself. It was too dangerous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadows of your past and mine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Walking Toward What’s Beyond Today](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2227197) by [astrangerenters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters). 



> This is the Ohmiya part of astrangerenters' fic originally posted in LJ

It’s the 8th of October now and if he’s going to continue with this pace, he’d probably reach 1714 before the week ends.   
  
It’s not like he’s racing against time to get there -- okay, he probably is but that’s just understandable considering the fact that he’s practically a fugitive now. Running off from his duty, from the agency and from his partner to go back somewhere he shouldn’t be is forbidden, no matter how right it feels to stay back there at the time.   
  
He had wanted to stay but he knew that he couldn’t, not then, because Sho was with him. And no matter how hard it was to leave, he had to because he couldn’t just let Sho leap back home by himself. It was too dangerous.   
  
Even his decision to go back he had to postpone several times because he wasn’t confident enough to do it alone. Leaping with someone else for so long is as easy as breathing now, and doing it alone requires skills and confidence he knows he is lacking. It had been the first and most important hurdle he had to conquer, the fear of getting lost in the middle of a leap without the partner who had his back, whose hand had been clasped against his eversince, is frightening enough to make him think twice about his decision to go back, knowing the dangers it entails upfront.   
  
But the urge to see the man he left behind comes back stronger than it’s ever been and that’s what motivates him to train himself. Leaping alone a few times when he knows it’s safe to do so is how he did it, memorizing the places he knows are far from the Time-Locals’ radars, places that are safe for him to appear, rest for a little bit before he goes back to the present.  
  
He’d been training himself for the most part of the last two years and he knows exactly when it’s time, when he’s ready to do the leap all by himself. He knows what this is going to cost him, but he couldn’t not go back, couldn’t keep living his life here when he knows he could have been happier somewhere else.  
  
And the week before, he had decided it has to be today.  
  
It’s 1984 now – three leaps in the last four and a half hours (not bad) and he spies a hidden camera installed at one of the buildings that houses the newest Time-Local’s safe house, throwing it a wink before he’s off to find his leap mark – a deserted alley this time around. He knows the agency isn’t going to wait that long before it decides to send a team to go after him, to haul him back to 2014, whether it’s to incarcerate his skinny ass or to kill him for breaking their stupid protocol.  
  
A tiny part of him quietly wishes he’s had enough head start to at least enjoy the company of the person he’s going back to before the invading party shows up. He also wishes they’d show a little mercy and not send his partner to come after him because he knows he had already caused the other man enough grief for them to put the responsibility of bringing him back over his partner’s shoulders. But the other part is wishing that if there’s anyone he would want to surrender to, that’d be to Sho.  
  
At least if it’s Sho, he could explain why he did this. He couldn’t tell him before because there’s no way he’s going to jeopardize Sho’s life along with his just because he wants to go somewhere he knows he’s not supposed to go. But if the agency’s going to send his partner to take him back, then at least he’d have time to explain, to apologize for leaving his partner behind before they either lock him up or kill him.  
  
.  
+++  
  
  
It had been almost three years now when they were asked to leap back to 1714 to help an 18th century team in tracking some person with the talent.  
  
He remembers it clearly, as if it only happened the day before. The person they were asked to track was somewhere near the Edo bay, so they have to travel from their leap point towards one of the tiny fishing villages near the shore and stay there until the person turned up.  
  
They ended up trekking the village so early that morning, but Sho said it was for the better because at least they’d have time to scan the place without the village people noticing. They've just reached the row of tiny, wooden houses that smelled of seaweeds and dried fishes when his gaze caught the sight of him.  
  
He remembers the first time he saw the man, the tiny fisherman who had taken them in back then, who had opened his house for them to stay at the time. He was coming out from one of the houses that were built near the shore, net in hand and seemingly oblivious to the things around him while he and Sho took in the place. He was walking slowly, his gait steady but his footsteps weren’t rushed, as if he had all the time in the world to be walking such slow pace in such an ungodly hour. The sun hadn’t peeked out from its usual hidden place afterall, and the sky was still dark. It was probably about three or four in the morning then.  
  
He and Sho had looked at each other then, surveyed the place the same way they’ve done a thousand times in a matter of seconds. He remembers the way Sho had grimaced when the older man realized they would have to settle here, at least for a few days, and that they would have to take it upon themselves to find a place to stay if they didn’t want to end up sleeping on the sands.  
  
It was obvious that their accommodation options are rather limited, and once Sho suggested they posed as Samurais to force one of the local guys to take them in, he’d found himself quietly agreeing before he even realized it.  
  
As it was, the only other local person present at the time, right then and there was the same tiny fisherman he saw earlier.  
  
It turned out it was easier to persuade the local guy, Ohno Satoshi-san, because even before Sho had managed to take out his katana with all the intention of forcing the little fisherman if necessary, he found himself quickly moving to the front and catching Ohno-san’s attention. He remembers looking at the man as if he was sizing him up, remembers the way his words didn’t come out right when he said them. Though he hadn’t meant to sound like he was there to scare the man off, it probably came out sounding like it anyway with the way their first meeting went.   
  
In the end, Ohno-san did take them in, bowing his head and apologizing profusely under his breath at the same time. They are very much welcome to his house of course, he said, but they would have to excuse the limited space his house could offer, as was the limited food his humble fishing could provide them.  
  
They smiled and thanked the kind-hearted fisherman, following the small, humble man as they were guided back to his equally humble abode.  
  
They’ve been there for over a week when he and Sho came back one night thoroughly exhausted. They hadn’t had any luck finding the person with the talent, and despite working side by side with another team, it was relatively difficult to move without the usual help they get from agency-established Time-Locals as well as the agency-provided machineries.   
  
He and Sho stumbled through the tiny house’s equally tiny door late that night (or very early morning), the strain of the job was already taking its toll on him and on his partner’s bodies; it was obvious in the way the exhaustion was slowing them both now, and Sho’s usual penchant for planning things was slowly losing its charm.  
  
Sho was out like a light the minute the older man’s back hit the hard floor, and he sighed as he tiptoed his way out of the house in desperate need of fresh air.  
  
He was dead tired but he knew that the exhaustion had nothing to do with what he was feeling then. He was used to the strain of the job, hell, he’d been doing it for years, afterall, but  _this_  -- he knew this was different.  
  
It was because of their host, of course,  _of course_ ; their host’s unexpected hospitality, and the way the man was like an enigma all on his own. He didn’t know what was so different with that man, what made him so special that had him following the man around with his gaze before he even realized he was doing it.  
  
There were others before him – mostly people he met when he and Sho were sent back to the past and working a job; but he never, not even once, had he allowed himself more than a glance or two, knew that if anything, he would go back to the present and the person he deemed interesting in the past would have to stay in the past, and everything about the said person would be nothing but a distant memory.   
  
And that was all there was to it.  
  
It was frustrating, really, to know that he was feeling something more when he knew he shouldn’t feel, and even more frustrating to know that he was allowing it. It wasn’t that hard to guess what this thing was slowly spiraling into, knew that he better crush this thing to the ground before it all go out of hand but it was difficult. Because despite taking the ‘ _it’s against the fucking rules_ ’ aside, there was that tiny, rebellious part of him which was screaming at him to just fuck the rules and just go for it.  
  
It didn’t help that he would end up watching the man from afar when he was sure his partner or the man himself wasn’t looking, found himself mesmerized at the quiet stillness that seemed to follow the man wherever he went. How he felt that strange pull whenever the man would accidentally meet his gaze no matter how far they were from each other, the way he couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of being stared back even when the other man was nowhere near.  
  
He walked the rest of the way towards the spot he usually spent his free time sitting staring at the vast sea, oddly missing its vibrant blue color. It was dark and quiet, and only the sounds of the water as it gently lapped the shore was audible, wondering if that peaceful serenity settling over his tired bones was what’s keeping the little fisherman from even thinking of leaving this blasted place to settle somewhere else.    
  
For one, there weren’t enough fishes to be caught around here anymore, which made living around here a little harder than it probably used to be. But the man didn’t seem to mind it, the hardships of living, and for someone who was born and brought up during the ‘ _better era’_ , it was so difficult to comprehend that.  
  
But maybe he didn’t have to, because no matter what happened, he would leave this place and he would go back to the future, or present, to where he belonged, and everything about the man and this place he’d soon forget.  
  
Maybe.  
  
He knew that the little, kind-hearted fisherman wasn’t home, at least not yet, or maybe he went out earlier than usual. He’s probably still out at sea, trying his luck with catching some late-night or very-early fishes so they would have something to eat the next day. He was grateful for the man’s surprising hospitality, for letting him and his partner into the man’s home, feeding them despite the fact that his fishing could barely feed the man himself.  
  
It was possibly a little over an hour when he realized he wasn’t alone anymore, and he didn’t even need to look sideways to know that the person who had quietly sat down next to him was Ohno-san.  
  
“It’s late, why are you still awake?” the other man asked, his voice gentle as ever.   
  
He smirked at this and shrugged, “It’s actually too early,” he said, then shifting to his left to regard the man, he mumbled, “Did you just came back or --?” he asked, then cut himself off when the man simply shrugged. “Never mind that,” he said instead.  
  
He wrapped his arms around himself, the chilly air hitting the side of his face, his bare arms, was making him shiver; the other man noticed this and scooted a little closer as if on autopilot till they’re bumping shoulders, the barely-there warmth seeping through the thin fabric of his clothes from the other man’s body was what prompted him to shift in turn, as he unconsciously leaned closer to the other man, tucking himself closer still against the other man’s side.  
  
“I don’t mean to sound like I’m prying, but,” Ohno-san asked then, low and careful and he resisted the urge to snicker if only he could keep hearing the man talk. For over a week, the only other words he heard from the man was ‘ _good morning, thank you for the food and goodnight’_ , and really, he would wonder why the sound of the man’s voice was stirring something in him he didn’t know existed if not for the fact that right now, staring at the man’s face felt oddly calming.  
  
“You and Sakurai-san seemed to always come back more exhausted than the last time you went out,” Ohno-san said. “And I know I’ve not been able to provide better shelter and food for the both of you eversince–“  
  
“What are you talking about?” he cut in.  
  
The man shook his head, then looked him over. “You’ve been losing a lot of weight, Ninomiya-san,” Ohno-san muttered, sounding worried.  
  
“It’s nothing you should be worried about, Ohno-san,” he countered, “Rest assured, Sakurai-san and I are used to this,” lowering his gaze though he could still feel the man’s eyes trained on his face. There was that unshakeable feeling of being watched again, though this time, he knew that the other man wasn’t even being subtle about it. “There’s no need to worry, really,”  
  
“But I am,” Ohno-san said, softly, his voice sounded like soft caress that he found himself wanting to lean on it, to close his eyes and just listen to that gentle voice for as long as he could.   
  
He raised his head and found that he was right, meeting Ohno-san’s gaze the minute he looked up.   
  
“You shouldn’t be,” he said before he lowered his gaze again. It was too much, he realized, staring back at the man and meeting his gaze knowing that he could somehow see the reflection of his own feelings through the other man’s eyes.   
  
A beat, then, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think that is your call to make,” was the last thing he heard from Ohno-san before everything sort of faded into blackness.  
  
+++  
  
That night (or very early morning) might have been the turning point, though he wasn’t exactly sure if he could even call it that. But eversince that night he promptly fell asleep leaning against the man, his fear began to materialize right in front of his very eyes.   
  
The lingering stares didn’t stop, both from his side and from the other man’s and he would have taken that as an obvious come on, a clear invitation of some sort to take the first brave step but he couldn’t, wouldn’t allow himself that luxury because well, it was pretty obvious.   
  
He couldn’t stay there, and knew that whatever feeling he was harboring over the gentle fisherman would only make leaving this place and the man himself a little more difficult, and well, he knew better than to allow that.   
  
He had wanted to take that chance, he really did, most especially after the few times he had caught Ohno-san staring. The first few he realized the other man himself had been the first one to bravely reach out; crossing that imaginary line he wouldn’t dare step over eversince this thing started.   
  
Sometimes the man would reach out for a seemingly harmless shoulder squeeze or a couple of light pats in the back before leaving, and those would have been enough reason to make him think of the  _what ifs –_ like, what if he had reached back and took the man’s hand in his, if he had looked into the man’s eyes and had let their lips do the talking instead, but he always found a way to catch himself halfway.   
  
He wouldn’t try because even through all those truly confusing but otherwise heartfelt gestures, he still refused to make something out of them in fear of further complicating things.  
  
Still, it didn’t stop him from realizing that he was slowly but surely falling for Ohno-san no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.  
  
Though everything seemed perfectly normal, he knew that something between them had changed eversince that night. Luckily for him, his partner hadn’t caught on this – thing or whatever -- (or maybe he did, he just didn’t want to let them see that he did), and had simply opted on restricting himself to few limited exchange of pleasantries with their hosts when they happened to be home at the same time.  
  
He, on the other hand, had found himself deeply engaged into learning the other man’s body languages to even notice anything.  
  
It wasn’t that hard, not really, for he only need to keep watching the other man to understand what he was saying even without hearing him talk. Because the man rarely did -- talk that is, and it amazed him as much as it amused him once he began to notice this. He wondered if it was some talent he ought to utilize for future use, but then he would think of the man and he would realize there’d be no one like Ohno-san back in the present with whom he could use this newly-acquired skill on anyway, so, it was pointless.  
  
It was bad enough that he’d tried – and failed, miserably and pathetically – not to like Ohno-san but it was so damn difficult. Not when everything about the man seemed to have been made just so he could charm his way to his heart, leaving no room for anything or anyone else eversince he met him.  
  
+++  
  
It didn’t help that he had developed some kind of (stupid) habit of staying awake until crap o’clock every damn day no matter how tired he was, going out of the house and trekking the way outside, towards the side of the beach where Ohno-san found him once days before, sitting there staring at nothing till sunrise. This, however, was what made him catch Ohno-san, more often than not, everytime the older man would step out of the house to fish.  
  
Sometimes, Ohno-san would just simply sit quietly beside him, not saying anything and seemingly more like a warm rock he could lean against rather than a regular talking, breathing human being. Other times, they would talk about random things – about himself and his partner – things he knew he shouldn’t be saying because they only mostly end up confusing Ohno-san even more but he couldn’t help himself.   
  
There was something about the man that made telling him about things seemed as easy as breathing, finding himself cracking up at the faces Ohno-san would make everytime he would mention little bits and pieces about the future. Ohno-san would look at him as if he’s crazy, would blink at him with a completely bewildered look on his face and his heart always, always suffered the blunt of it.  
  
He knew then that he had fallen in love, despite the efforts he had put up in fighting it. He had fallen in love with the most kind-hearted soul he had ever met, and the simple thought of leaving him behind and not seeing him again was enough to tear him apart inside.  
  
“If I could, I’d take you back with me, from where I came from,” he told Ohno-san that morning, a few weeks after they first talked – the very next morning where he and Sho were supposed to leave since they’ve already acquired the person they were tracking a few hours earlier.   
  
“From where you came from?” said Ohno-san, “Is it far?”   
  
He shook his head, wishing things were that simple. “Very,” he said, turning to his side to find Ohno-san’s eyes on him, the backdrop of the early morning sunshine made him look ethereal, beautiful despite his tanned skin and dry, chapped lips.   
  
And it felt like he’d been knifed in the gut then. It’d be the last time he’d get to sit next to the older man, afterall, the last time he’d get to talk to him, look at his face, and soak his calming presence in.  
  
Maybe those were the reasons why he had shoved that cautious part of him away, was the reason why he had to grab the older man’s hand and tugged the older man closer till they were almost nose to nose.  
  
To his credit, Ohno-san barely blinked, gaze falling upon him as he lifted a hand and traced Ohno-san’s cheek with his fingertips.  
  
“It’s time, isn’t it? For you and Sakurai-san to go?” Ohno-san whispered, and it was a statement rather than a question, reeling at the painful twist in his chest that made even the simple thing as breathing difficult. He nodded as he watched the older man’s face closely. “You won’t be coming back?” Ohno-san added, and he couldn’t even find the courage to lie.  
  
“I can’t,” He said, shaking his head again, watching the light on the older man’s eyes disappear, and for the first time eversince he realized he had this ability, he wished he had the power to bring someone along with him when he and his partner jumped back to where they came from.  
  
“And you can’t take me with you either,” whispered Ohno-san, and the statement had hit him like a fist in the face. He shook his head and watched the way Ohno-san’s expression changed, gasped sharply when Ohno-san closed his eyes and leaned into him as if he’d given up fighting altogether, the same as he did, knowing that it was a battle they both knew they couldn’t win.  
  
Because at that moment, they knew they loved each other so much it hurt, knew that the impending separation was going to cut deep no matter how much he wished it wouldn’t.  
  
“I – I’m going to miss you, K-Kazu,” Ohno-san admitted, his given name falling from the older man’s lips for the first and last time, and god, it was just too much.  
  
He was shaking when his fingers found the side of Ohno-san’s face, surging up to cup Ohno-san’s cheek so quickly he wondered if it hurt, tugging the older man’s face down for a kiss. For one dizzying moment, he realized he couldn’t breathe, their lips touched and there was electricity buzzing in between them, his chest was painfully tight. Ohno-san’s mouth fitted so perfectly against his, and he wondered, not for the first time, why he had to meet the most wonderful person who only had to smile for him to feel so glad to be alive, the person who understood him better than anyone else in a place where he couldn’t stay no matter how much he wanted to.  
  
“Me too,” he remembered mouthing the words against Ohno-san’s lips, remembered the bitter taste of regret and misery, of their combined tears as they kissed. “God, me  _too,_ ”   
  
+++  
  
  
It’s the year 1904 now – a few more leaps to go and he’ll make it back to 1714, hopefully before the others catch up with him, but for now, he needs to rest. He’s been jumping almost nonstop eversince, and he would have continued leaping if not for the fact that his body’s nearing its limits and he doesn’t want to end up somewhere he shouldn’t be if he’s not careful.  
  
Chiba’s not that far from Tokyo, and so he decided to make his stop here and rest. He could have easily gone to Yonekura-san’s residence – the older woman likes him to a fault eversince he gifted here with two sets of makeup and an expensive perfume from the future, and he knows Yonekura-san would help him in any way she can but he resisted the urge.  
  
He doesn’t want to involve her in this, knowing how dangerous his leaping back to the past without the agency’s permission already is, so this will have to do. A few hours of sleep will be enough to keep him going, and tomorrow, he’s set to jump again.  
  
He closes his eyes and imagines the face of the man he left behind a couple of years ago, and smiles.  
  
Few more days, and he’ll be with him.   
  
He couldn’t wait.  
  
  
+++  
  
It is almost sunrise when he reached the tiny village near the Edo bay. He’s just lucky to find a traveling merchant on his way back to the village and he had to pay the last of his money to the man but he didn’t care.   
  
He’s broke but he knows that in this place, he wouldn’t care about the money, wouldn’t care about anything at all so long as he is with the person he love. He’s not sure how long it will take for the agency’s guys to catch up with him, how little time he has with Ohno-san before they come and haul him back to the present, but for now, everything is irrelevant. What matters is he is here now, and he will enjoy every single moment of his stay until he has to go away permanently.  
  
He is vibrating with so much anxiety the minute he sees the familiar view of the beach, the rows of tiny houses up the hill. The air is filled with the salty scent of the sea that he doesn’t remember missing until he smelled it, and his heart does this stupid dance inside his ribcage the moment his gaze zooms into a lone figure sitting at a very familiar spot near the bay.  
  
He breaks into a run before he even realizes it, his heart pounding hard in his chest.   
  
He is huffing like an old man when his feet halt to a stop a few paces away from the man. The man’s back is on him, but he knows, even without seeing his face, that Ohno-san is aware he is there.  
  
“Better work on your stamina, Ninomiya-san,” Ohno-san teases after what feels like a whole lifetime of staring at the older man’s back, willing his breathing to even out and swallowing the lump that has formed in his throat.   
  
“You think so?” he returns, voice tight; his chest feels like an overinflated balloon and he’s having trouble focusing his gaze, finds that he couldn’t keep his eyes from checking the other man all over.   
  
“I know so,” replies the older man, shifting a little to give him a sideway glance. Their eyes meet for the first time in years, and Nino is afraid he’ll fall over and die with the way his heart is behaving inside his chest. Especially when he sees the edges of the older man’s mouth curl into that one smile he sorely misses.   
  
This is the reason he came back, he thinks, feels his balance returning at the same time the older man holds his hand out for him to take. The ground feels shaky beneath his feet but it doesn’t matter when Ohno-san is there to steady  him, feels Ohno-san’s arm around his waist when he flops down on the sand with Ohno-san next to him.  
  
It feels like another lifetime before he found the strength to speak again, but it is okay because he knows Ohno-san is there, and he’s not going anywhere.   
  
“I’m – I’m sorry it took me quite a long time to get back,” he whispers, closes his eyes at the feel of Ohno-san’s hold tightening around him, tugging him closer to the older man’s side.   
  
“Didn’t expect you will,” Ohno-san returns, quietly, “you said so yourself, afterall,”  
  
He nods in agreement and shifts a little to his left to find the older man’s eyes on him. “I wanted to,” he says, swallowing past the lump in his throat as he searches the other man’s face. “But if you think I shouldn’t have –“  
  
The man cuts him off with a shake of his head, before he reaches up to cup his cheek in the older man’s palm. “I’d  _hoped_ ,” Ohno-san says with a soft look on his face, his fingers tender on his face. “Eversince that day you went away, I’d hoped you’d come back, but you said that you couldn’t so –“  
  
He shakes his head and feels the heat gathers at the corners of his eyes. “I was not allowed to,” he murmurs, raising his arms to wrap them around the older man’s neck. It feels so right to be this close to the other man and he knows that despite the consequences of his actions, he’s not going to regret ever coming back here to be with him.  
  
“But it doesn’t mean I didn’t want to,” he follows, leaning up to nuzzle Ohno-san’s cheek, feels the air leaving Ohno-san’s lungs in a rush before he is swept into the tightest embrace he’d ever received in his life.   
  
“I’m glad,” Ohno-san breathes shakily, his hands tangle in his hair. “But you’re not going to get in trouble for coming back here, are you?” Ohno-san asks after another long beat, pulling a bit away from him.   
  
He doesn’t say anything but he knows that his silence is answer enough. Ohno-san’s face is shadowed with uncertainty but he couldn’t blame him. He decided to come back here to be with him, no matter how short a time it’ll be before they take him back to where he came from and he has to live with it, knows that he’s going to face the consequences of his actions when the time comes, but for now, it doesn’t matter.  
  
Because it’s this or let go of the happiness he found only with Ohno-san, and he chose this -- will still choose this over everything that is good in his life because in the end, he realized nothing is good enough if he’s not with the older man anyway.    
  
Ohno-san touches his face, soft and tender, thumbs stroking beneath his eyes and only then he realized he is crying.  
  
“For how long?” Ohno-san whispers and he swears he could hear the sounds of his heart breaking, “How long do we have before they come for you?”  
  
He shakes his head and bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. “I – I don’t know,” he whispers, knows it for a fact that somehow, the agency isn’t going to just sit around and wait for him to change his mind, for him to leap back to the present on his own. “A few months – or weeks, maybe, I’m not sure,”  
  
The older man leans in forward till their temples touch. “I just got  _you_  back,” Ohno-san whispers, voice hoarse with misery and he wishes he could undo everything, wishes he has the power to leap with a person who doesn’t have the ability; if only he could, he will take Ohno-san away, leap somewhere the agency couldn’t follow but he knows that it is impossible. “And you’re telling me you’re going to leave again?”  
  
“I’m not even supposed to be here,” he confesses, “But I came back anyway, because I want to be with you,” he adds, leaning into the older man’s touch.   
  
Ohno-san makes a noise that is part-awed, part-miserable, and he opens his eyes to the sight of Ohno-san’s heartbreaking face. He knows it mirrors his own, and it pains him to see Ohno-san’s face painted with such emotion, and it pains him even more to know that he is the one who puts it there.  
  
“But it’s this or live a life filled with regrets for not giving myself a chance to be with the person I love, to be with the person who holds half of my heart in his hand eversince, just because I was scared to try,”  
  
“Kazu –“  
  
He pushes into the other man’s space and smiles despite the tears. “It’s okay,” he whispers, worming a hand around the older man’s neck. “We live one day at a time and be happy, alright? I came back because of you, because I wanted to be with you and that’s exactly why I'm here for. I don’t care if our time together is numbered, I don’t care if they’re going to take me away from you when the time comes, but for now, we’re here, we’re together, and that’s all that matters,”  
  
“I – but how can I not think about the end when I know you’re –“  
  
“One day at a time, Oh-chan,” he breathes, holding onto the older man as if his life depended on it. “I love you,” he confesses and the overwhelming rush of happiness floods him knowing that he is finally able to say those words after years of keeping them locked in. “  
  
For now, they have this – they have each other, and despite the limited time they have in their hands, it's not enough to ruin the happiness he knows he'd have for being here, for coming back.  
  
"One day at a time," Ohno-san agrees, leaning in forward to press a kiss against the side of his mouth. "and what do you know, I guess I love you, too, Ninomiya-san,"  
  
He smiles and this time, he doesn't hesitate when he presses his mouth against Ohno-san's and kisses him back just as softly.  
  
One day at a time it is, then.  



End file.
